Posts Tagged ‘trends’

If you want to look good every day, three must-have items are: the right shoes, the right bra, and the right jeans.  Since bras and jeans can make or break your shape, perfect fit is essential. If only bras & jeans were as easy to fit as shoes!  Considering how much much less needs to fit into a bra, than a pair of jeans, bra shopping is easy by comparison.    Despite this, bra experts say 85% of women are wearing the wrong bra.  Not sure how they determined this, but it made me wonder ow many women are wearing the wrong jeans.

Think about it–the area from the ankle to the waist is at least 60% of the body, yet we‘re expected to find something something off-the-rack that mimics the size and shape of a body unlike anyone else’s with sportscar-like ability for hugging curves.
A jeans-buying expedition isn’t just a shopping trip,it’s a quest for perfection, as we search for a pair that will make us look and feel amazing.

There are hundreds of brands and styles, yet we all have days when it seems none are crafted for a body like the one we see in the fitting-room mirror.  Even Levi’s, who should be the world’s foremost expert on jeans, recently came up with yet another line for those who can’t find good fit among their other 170 styles.

The good news is this season’s trends in jeans should make get the right fit easier, but the bad news is that this season’s jeans may not be very flattering.  According to the trend-spotters, high-waists and wide legs are back–didn’t we just finish eradicating “mom” jeans? Is it possible the designers responsible are trying to sabotage us by reinventing unattractive?  Or are they they just unnaturally attached to their “mommys”?

There are countless numbers of articles written on how to pick the right jeans, but in seasons with unfortunate fashions, the focus should be on NOT wearing the wrong jean.  At times like these, a good mirror, a ruthlessly honest girlfriend and a few tips are helpful.

No matter your height or shape, the length and leg of  your jeans is important.  On their way out, are the recently popular” skinny jeans”.  This trend was one an average figure would work, but they made the very thin look spindly and the more fuller figured appear to be in danger of toppling.  Now it seems we’re going to the opposite extreme, with wide legs that should be reserved for pianos & pachyderms.  Aren’t most of us trying to look as long and lean as possible?  Is there anyone out there who has enthusiasm for jeans that will make them look shorter and thicker?

If you want to wear the wider styles this season, opt for flared legs cut a little closer to the contour of the upper leg, like flares or bells.  To get the longest line, pair them with a delicately tapered or pointed shoe.

Now that jeans come in different rises, there is no reason to be wearing jeans that are too tight or too loose in the waist.  Whereas having a small waist is almost always a good thing, when it comes to jeans  a tiny waist with an ample derriere can be problematic.   Brands like Apple Bottoms and L.E.I. are cut for more curve, but if a small waist is an issue, go for mid-rise to show off the booty without having it spoiled by a poorly fitting waist band.  For those who have small waists with less curve, low-rise jeans can create an illusion of a curvier figure by accentuating the hip.

Pay attention to the cut as well as the material.  There are many lines which use Lycra or Spandex to help minimize figure flaws.  The days when “stretch” jeans were guaranteed to accentuate the wrong things or make ripples where you didn’t want them are long gone, the newer blends have just enough “give”, to cuddle your curves.

If you aren’t as cheeky as you wish you were, highly embellished pockets can work in your favor, by adding bulk while creating an illusion of more. Pockets placed lower can help downplay a butt that isn’t as high as it used to be. but unless you’re under thirty (or look like you are) over embellished or novelty pockets are best left in the left in the Juniors shop.

Trendy washes and finishes come and go.  Whiskered, color rinsed, grunge wash, sharkskin, metallics–there’s always some new novelty, but when the trend is gone, those dated jeans should be too. Enjoy what’s current, but keep in mind smoother darker finished denims in less a trouser cut can go anywhere.

Finally, be fickle.  Unless you have a brand of jeans that never fails, experiment.  Don’t be so locked into what you’re used to, that you miss out on something better, and don’t be a slave to brands or styles that don’t work on you.  Hot brands and high-priced designer tags do not guarantee of a better looking jean.  Most importantly, don’t let vanity cause you to buy jeans that aren’t the right size.  No matter what the tag says, if it doesn’t fit great, it’s not your size.

Your body is uniquely your own.  No matter what everyone else is wearing, choose what makes you look and feel your best!

Earthquakes, nuclear disasters, wars, rising inflation, economic uncertainty AND just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse–they’re baa-a-a-a-ck.

Last weekend, as I was out & about, I was surprised to see them everywhere.  Dropping out of nowhere, they were in stores, at restaurants and even sporting events.  Just in time to ruin spring, comes the leg-shrouding long-dress.  In my own locale, winter has been too wet and too long to suit me.  Like most of the men I know, I have been anxiously waiting for shorts-weather.  The wonderful season of close shaves and suntan oil, but alas, it would seem legs are going back into hiding.

You may or may not be aware of  “The Skirt Length Theory”, in which there is a supposed correlation between hem lengths and economic trends. Recalling its premise, I’m trying to remember the economic conditions during the period in which I last wore a long dress to something other than a wedding. According to the theory, when times are good, women get into supply & demand economics, with an eagerness to show their goods.  Conversely, when the economy is shaky, apparently women hoard cloth by wearing skirts long enough to provide a make-shift shelter in the event of a worst-case scenario.  (A Yurt Skirt?)

Utilizing my understanding of economics and my observations of male/female relationships, I have extrapolated my own conclusion on “skirt theory”.  Keynes, Bernanke, Buffett and Friedman would certainly agree with me on this.  The more economic security a man presents, the more likely it is he will get more than a glimpse of ankle.

“The Skirt Length Theory” has mostly been debunked, probably because the affluence of the developed world has provided women more options for wearing whatever skirt length they preferred, but I suspect as the dreadful maxi-length dresses return, this theory will be given another 15 minutes of fame for re-examination.

The very bad news for those who have been watching  IRA’s & stock portfolios shrink, is the much-needed distraction of summer gam-glam will be in decline too.  As the graph lines on the Dow, The GNP and the probability of Congress solving our deficit woes go plummeting toward the earth, get your last glimpse of calf curves.

Hold on, it’s going to be a long summer.

Researching via the internet, is always more interesting, than researching at a library.  Inevitably, there are interesting distractions along the way.  I was doing research on the subject of a future blog, when I ended up on one of those wild Google chases.  One minute, I’m making helpful notes, the next I’m reading an article about why women have embraced waxing themselves bare–as in Brazilian bare.

The article was written by a professional in the field of psychology.  It asked the question “WHY?”
A very good question.   Anyone who has never experienced a Brazilian wax, has to ask, “Why?!?”.

Any anyone who has had the experience of laying on a table for hot wax and hair-pulling should be asking the same question.

I’m not a psychologist, but the answer is simple.  It is because men have eyes.
Women have embraced it because it makes them feel better.  It makes them feel better,  because it makes them believe they look better.  Men are initially attracted to women because of what their eyes tell them is attractive–the beauty eye-deal.

(This makes me wonder what we would look like if men couldn’t see.  Since natural eyebrows, lip fuzz and body fat are more tactilely interesting than a uniformly thin and smooth body, one has to wonder what our beauty aesthetic would be in a world of blind men.  Needless to say, make-up and tanning would be obsolete.)

Me suspects the bare-down-there look was popularized by the porn industry, but no matter, it’s just one of many very bizarre or extreme things women do to mold themselves to the beauty eye-deal.
Popular now, are things like having botulism or any number of substances injected into the face.  We can have fat surgically removed or d-cups surgically implanted.  We are told it’s the fault of the media for propagating unrealistic ideals, but are they really to blame?

Before you answer, let me remind you this isn’t new. Women have always done very bizarre things to make themselves more attractive to men.  In modern society, in primitive tribes, in remote places, and in ancient history; there has always been some unnatural standard to which women insanely aspired–the Asian practice of foot-binding comes to mind, but it’s one of many.

Throughout time, women who were starving wanted to appear well-fed, while women who were well-fed, starved themselves to be thin. Today, women spend money to cultivate bronzy tans, in contrast to the age when women ate arsenic to achieve pallid white skin. Curly hair is straightened, straight hair is curled. Long hair is cropped, short hair is augmented with extensions.  Thousands  are spent on everything from eyelash extensions to acrylic nails.

In other cultures, beauty is enhanced by body modifications like tattoos & scarification.  Nostrils, earlobes, lips and even necks are unnaturally stretched to make women more desirable.  The beauty practices of other cultures may seem strange to us, but are they really any more unnatural than what we do?   Even some of the things we wear, like high-heels and thong underwear, are indicative of the unnatural discomfort we will endure to please men.

In contrast, to what women will do, the list of the unnatural things men do to make themselves attractive is much shorter.  What do men do that is unnatural? Shave and wear clothes. That’s about it.

We are constantly conforming to male ideals.  Interestingly, the most misogynistic of these, to most of the the Western World, is the burqa, which is said to hide a woman’s outward beauty, so that only her true beauty can be seen.  That’s a refreshing idea, but I’m not ready to suggest we all shroud-up to swap vanity for virtues. Nevertheless, it seems to me the entire collective of women across time and hemispheres needs a reminder, we are already beautiful.

In my grandmother’s lifetime, the cart was replaced with the car.  The coal-driven locomotive, was outmoded by airline transport and the television made the radio passé.  I think I’m starting to understand how she felt.

The skills of my first career became obsolete with the advent of the “personal computer” which was never very personal because it was driven by user-hostile batch files.

When I was growing up, music came on LPs, instead of CD’s.  Movies came from theaters and and if we were watching movies at home, they were probably home-movies.

The rotary-dial phone of my childhood has been replaced by the cell phone I toss in my handbag.  The room-sized mainframe computers are outperformed by the netbook, which also fits in my purse, and of course, the newest phones do everything but windows–those square glass things in the house, not the operating system.

I’ve adjusted to and enjoyed the changes, but the latest are starting to make me wonder if this is how Grammy felt.

Apparently, I am now in just like the mothers who still wore stretch pants when everyone else started wearing jeans. The latest trends have people wearing clothes so tight they alleviate any mystery.  Despite this, I’m still wearing clothes which outline more than define, my panties still cover my cheeky parts, and [gasp]  I still wear hosiery.

Women hate hose, men love skin, these two factors have caused pantyhose to become all but obsolete.  I say all but obsolete, because every single drugstore and department store still sells them.  Apparently, only I and the more well-turned out members of the AARP are still buying them.  I’ve perfected the art of being fashionably late, but on this it seems I’m just FASHION-LATE.

Back  in the day, “panty” hose eliminated the panty line and also eliminated the garter belt.  The “panty-line” is another thing that has mostly become obsolete, and though the garter belt is enduringly sexy, wearing one is an enduring nuisance–just ask a drag queen. Having worn hose with garters, long before I wore panty hose, the elimination of gartered hose–is enough to make me loyal to pantyhose, but there is also the cosmetic advantage.

I had a great childhood and my legs bear testimony to climbing trees, riding bikes and learning how to roller skate.  I like a little bit of very sheer mesh smoothing out the scars left by those fond memories, and though I am a huge devotee of full-footal nudity–hose make high heels feel better. .

So a recent cute-dress-impulse-buy, had me trying to decide whether or not I’d continue to be a grandma, or get with the times.   Decided I was stepping out with the skin in all it’s glory–shaved my legs extra carefully, and slathered on some lotion. The dress is hot, the heels are hot, and I am ready to do this, when the man in my life, enters the room and says, “Aren’t you going to wear hose?”  Apparently, he is as old school as I am.  I admit, I was relieved.

That evening, I spent a good amount of time scrutinizing the bare legs on display.  The most polished women are still wearing hose–most of them corporate-types or professionals like lawyers or doctors.  However, there are many women with very imperfect legs displaying them as proudly as beauty queens.  If they can do it, I can.  Maybe next time.