Posts Tagged ‘Summer reading’

Overheard in a used bookstore: “The trouble with these books is they’re so literary.”

The remark struck me as funny, but it probably shouldn’t have.  Granted, I was in Bullhead City, AZ, but when it comes to books we don’t all like the same things.   Some books are good enough almost anyone can enjoy them–as evidenced by the Harry Potter series, but there are many books that aren’t as easy to enjoy.  I read lots of books, as a result, I end up reading some that aren’t very good.

When it comes to books, you are either a reader or you aren’t. Because I am a reader, I enjoy combing the shelves of places where used books are sold.  I could save money by going to libraries, but that wouldn’t allow me enough time form the same relationships with books. To me, starting a book is a commitment to see it through to the end.  Sort of like a marriage, though we begin with a preconceived notion of what’s to come, unless we stick with it, we have no idea how it will end.  When a book starts poorly, I keep reading, in the hope it will get better, but as with relationships, some books are just more satisfying than others.

It is my assumption, that most of those who read de blog are probably “readers”, but since nobody has time to read everything, I read books looking for bits of not-to-be missed brilliance, with my readers in mind.    (No need to thank me, but I’ve saved you tons of money and time you might have spent reading some awful books.)

Over the past several months, I’ve read dozens of books about men, women, and relationships.  A few stand out.  If I had a library, instead of using the Dewey Decimal System, I’d use a system like the one employed at a certain store, where I used to rent videos.  One of their employees took it upon himself to personally share his opinions about the videos he had viewed.  If he had scrawled on the vinyl case, “Clayton recommends”, customers could be reasonably sure the movie was worth watching.

My library would have “Should be Mandatory” sections.  I’d chose some books for young people who know nothing of history &  politics, and other books for those who believe they know everything of those subjects.  I’d probably recommend some books on religion to those who have no faith, and some secular books to those who only read theology.

But who needs a library, when having a blog offers the same egotistic opportunity to tell others what they should read?   So since summer vacation is the perfect time to pick up a good book, here’s de blog’s summer reading list.  No matter what your current relationship status, there is something for everyone on this list.  Not only that, but each book is chock-full of worthwhile for those seeking a new or improved relationship.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough – by Lori Gottlieb
This one tops my list because it’s incredibly well-researched and is actually fun to read.  Bestselling author, Lori Gottlieb provides answers to why fabulously-eligible women sometimes have trouble finding their dream man.  Lori shares her own experiences as she explores online dating services, tries her luck with a matchmakers, and seeks the help of a dating coach.  It’s a fascinating look at ways women sabotage their chances with great guys.  If you aren’t smarter after reading this book, you might as well just start talking to yourself and collecting stray cats.

He’s Just Not Your Type (and that’s a good thing):  How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It by Andrea Syrtash
This book is a natural follow up to the one suggested above.  The author suggests that if all your relationships end the same way, it might be because you keep dating the same type of guy.  Ms. Syrtash encourages women to get out of their comfort zone, by dating the guys who aren’t their type.  (It worked for me.)

The End of Sex, Erotic Love after the Sexual Revolution by George Burr Leonard
Don’t tell anyone, but I like sex.  Can’t blame me, I was raised after sex, drugs & rock & roll replaced the mores of my parents’ generations with an openness that changed everything.  Suddenly sex was plentiful, cheap & easy.  Unfortunately, sometimes cheap lacks quality.  When our society traded quality for quantity, it was at the cost of the three M’s–the magic, the mystique and meaning of sex.  The author  makes a great case for monogamy as a source of exciting challenge and adventure.  I read this book every few years, because when it comes to sex, I’m a 3M kind of girl.

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov
The title of this book may be off-putting, but it’s not as it sounds. While women may believe being submissive is a virtue, being too agreeable can subvert a relationship.  This book isn’t really about being bitchy, as much as it’s about not being so desperately weak as to allow oneself to be walked on like a doormat.   Women, being naturally accommodating, often put up with stuff they shouldn’t.   Between the covers of this book is the lesson (or reminder) there is such a thing as being too nice.  It’s all about getting respect, because a woman who is properly respected, needn’t be bitchy.

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch,  Ph.D.
I’ve read plenty of books about sex, intimacy & romance, but most of them give the same advice  . . be open to new things, tell your partner what you like…ZZZzzzzzzzz….If you’re past that, you’ve probably already realized it’s possible to have great sex within the confines of a not-so-great relationship, or a great relationship that isn’t sexually satisfying.  This book is for those who want to enjoy both a great relationship and great sex.  If sex makes you uncomfortable, this may not be the book for you, then again, it might.

Being a Woman: Fulfilling Your Femininity and Finding Love by Dr. Toni Grant
There are way too many books out there suggesting female perfection will eliminate marital woes.  When I came across this book, the photo of the author with her perfectly-styled hair had me fully prepared to be wading through another volume of tips women gave daughters in previous generations.  Fortunately, the days of housewives who wore pearls to vacuum are over–if they every existed.

Being a wife or mother in a post-feminist society presents new challenges to the role of a woman.  Dr. Grant acknowledges ways feminism has changed our roles, while also realizing women aren’t all the same.  She offers suggestions for balancing every aspect of a woman’s multi-dimensional personality, while still being the kind of woman a man will adore.

Okay that’s my list.  These savvy books are too good to be returned to the library or sold back to the used bookstore.  If you find any of these titles of interest, it is my sincere hope you’ll enjoy them and learn useful things from them.  Because I found the first book listed above to be particularly brilliant, I will be sharing my interview with author Lori Gottlieb soon.  Lori has written for a host of publications including, Glamour, People,  Mademoiselle, Atlantic Monthly, Redbook,  Time, Self and Elle. (In other words, this babe has it going on!)   In the meantime, I wholeheartedly recommend “Marry Him” to any woman who is frustrated by dating.