Posts Tagged ‘shoes’

On any given day, you’ll see them, the men on the benches outside stores at the mall.  Patiently, they wait, as the women browse every store.  Admirable or pathetic, they wait ,wondering how much longer she’ll be.

There are not as many men who go to the mall with their wives or girlfriends, as those who stay home, doing whatever it is men do while women shop, because most men don’t understand the way women shop.As a  woman goes from store-to-store looking, the men wonder why it takes them so long to find what they’re looking for.  For most men shopping is a challenge–like a hunt.  To come home empty-handed is to fail.  Bagging something–anything makes the hunt a success.  It would seem that when it comes to shopping, men and women are wired differently.  The woman lets the quest continue as she shops for the perfect [insert noun of choice here].

Though a man may not understand why a woman looking for the perfect pair of shoes or the perfect dress, can try on dozens of seemingly similar items and still be looking for something else, when it comes to choosing women, some men shop more like women, than they realize.  You know the ones, those guys who are always looking for someone or something they can’t seem to find.

There was a time when men may not have known exactly what they wanted in a wife or girlfriend, yet they managed to find one.  That was back when relationships were thought of as a launching point for forever after–instead of a stop-gap, ’til something better came along. Unfortunately, with sex-before-marriage now more the rule than the exception, and marriages are often short-lived, some men are no longer looking for a women to grow old with, instead they are looking for a women who will never grow old to them.

With sex readily available, men are more wary of monogamy and it’s implications and with so many choices, they may be reluctant to settle on one.  Relationships have become a gamble, as iffy as buying something at a store with a no-refund policy.  Maybe he sees something he likes, but only after he’s laid out a hefty chunk of money, will he discover the package was misleading, it wasn’t what he’d hoped, or that it isn’t going to last.

When it comes to women, some guys are are exactly like women shopping for the perfect pair of shoes.

There are so many to choose from, many styles, colors and sizes.  It’s up to him how many he tries on, and he is free to discard them if they don’t suit him, OR if he believes he might find something better. So while the women around him wonder why he won’t settle down or what it is he’s looking for, he’s narrowing his choices.  Women may not understand it, but they should–at least with a little decoding.

SHOPPING FOR THE PERFECT SHOES vs.  SHOPPING FOR THE PERFECT WOMAN

• She says: These are too wide. He says: She’s too wide.
  
• She says: This shoe is too narrow. He says: She’s narrow-minded, she doesn’t think the way I do.
  
• She says: I like these, but they pinch. He says: She cramps my style.
• She says: I like these, but I they cost too much. He says: I’d rather not spend my money on her.
  
• She says: I’d buy these, but I don’t want shoes I’d have to polish. He says: Too high maintenance!
• She says: I want to try on a few more. He says: So many women, why settle on one.
• She says: This one is comfortable, but it isn’t attractive enough. He says: I like hanging with her, but I was sorta hoping for a super-model.
• She says: Maybe I could do better. He says: Maybe I could do better.

Like cute shoes in the window beckoning and hoping you’ll pick them, or nice dresses left on the rack at the end of the season, we are left to shake our heads and wonder what it is he’s hoping to find.

If you want to look good every day, three must-have items are: the right shoes, the right bra, and the right jeans.  Since bras and jeans can make or break your shape, perfect fit is essential. If only bras & jeans were as easy to fit as shoes!  Considering how much much less needs to fit into a bra, than a pair of jeans, bra shopping is easy by comparison.    Despite this, bra experts say 85% of women are wearing the wrong bra.  Not sure how they determined this, but it made me wonder ow many women are wearing the wrong jeans.

Think about it–the area from the ankle to the waist is at least 60% of the body, yet we‘re expected to find something something off-the-rack that mimics the size and shape of a body unlike anyone else’s with sportscar-like ability for hugging curves.
A jeans-buying expedition isn’t just a shopping trip,it’s a quest for perfection, as we search for a pair that will make us look and feel amazing.

There are hundreds of brands and styles, yet we all have days when it seems none are crafted for a body like the one we see in the fitting-room mirror.  Even Levi’s, who should be the world’s foremost expert on jeans, recently came up with yet another line for those who can’t find good fit among their other 170 styles.

The good news is this season’s trends in jeans should make get the right fit easier, but the bad news is that this season’s jeans may not be very flattering.  According to the trend-spotters, high-waists and wide legs are back–didn’t we just finish eradicating “mom” jeans? Is it possible the designers responsible are trying to sabotage us by reinventing unattractive?  Or are they they just unnaturally attached to their “mommys”?

There are countless numbers of articles written on how to pick the right jeans, but in seasons with unfortunate fashions, the focus should be on NOT wearing the wrong jean.  At times like these, a good mirror, a ruthlessly honest girlfriend and a few tips are helpful.

No matter your height or shape, the length and leg of  your jeans is important.  On their way out, are the recently popular” skinny jeans”.  This trend was one an average figure would work, but they made the very thin look spindly and the more fuller figured appear to be in danger of toppling.  Now it seems we’re going to the opposite extreme, with wide legs that should be reserved for pianos & pachyderms.  Aren’t most of us trying to look as long and lean as possible?  Is there anyone out there who has enthusiasm for jeans that will make them look shorter and thicker?

If you want to wear the wider styles this season, opt for flared legs cut a little closer to the contour of the upper leg, like flares or bells.  To get the longest line, pair them with a delicately tapered or pointed shoe.

Now that jeans come in different rises, there is no reason to be wearing jeans that are too tight or too loose in the waist.  Whereas having a small waist is almost always a good thing, when it comes to jeans  a tiny waist with an ample derriere can be problematic.   Brands like Apple Bottoms and L.E.I. are cut for more curve, but if a small waist is an issue, go for mid-rise to show off the booty without having it spoiled by a poorly fitting waist band.  For those who have small waists with less curve, low-rise jeans can create an illusion of a curvier figure by accentuating the hip.

Pay attention to the cut as well as the material.  There are many lines which use Lycra or Spandex to help minimize figure flaws.  The days when “stretch” jeans were guaranteed to accentuate the wrong things or make ripples where you didn’t want them are long gone, the newer blends have just enough “give”, to cuddle your curves.

If you aren’t as cheeky as you wish you were, highly embellished pockets can work in your favor, by adding bulk while creating an illusion of more. Pockets placed lower can help downplay a butt that isn’t as high as it used to be. but unless you’re under thirty (or look like you are) over embellished or novelty pockets are best left in the left in the Juniors shop.

Trendy washes and finishes come and go.  Whiskered, color rinsed, grunge wash, sharkskin, metallics–there’s always some new novelty, but when the trend is gone, those dated jeans should be too. Enjoy what’s current, but keep in mind smoother darker finished denims in less a trouser cut can go anywhere.

Finally, be fickle.  Unless you have a brand of jeans that never fails, experiment.  Don’t be so locked into what you’re used to, that you miss out on something better, and don’t be a slave to brands or styles that don’t work on you.  Hot brands and high-priced designer tags do not guarantee of a better looking jean.  Most importantly, don’t let vanity cause you to buy jeans that aren’t the right size.  No matter what the tag says, if it doesn’t fit great, it’s not your size.

Your body is uniquely your own.  No matter what everyone else is wearing, choose what makes you look and feel your best!

One of the significant differences between the sexes, is the tendency of women to focus on smaller things men don’t see.   While men are making sense of the  big picture,  women are taking in the details.

For this reason, women often understand economics, better than men think we do. In fact, women are especially savvy in the realm of microeconomics.  If you have any knowledge of economics, you probably know the difference between micro- and macroeconomics. Macro includes big things like the GNP, unemployment, and trade, while microeconomics deals with the factors which affect the individual consumer.

Even if we don’t know what to call it, our highly developed shopping prowess, allows us to sense  economic trends.  Men may need to read the financial section of the daily news to learn how The Dow is trending, but women need only go to the stores to get a read on the economy.

Because women are often in charge of provisioning a household with things like Oreos and stylish clothing, we are quick to detect economic trends. The first indicators are usually commodities–things like coffee, sugar, breakfast cereal [aka grain], and gasoline. When the paycheck isn’t going as far, women don’t need the Wall Street Journal to tell them the economy is hinky.

It is easy to tell at the beginning of a retail season, what retailers are feeling.  When the economy is humming, retailers stock their shelves with eye-dazzling excess.  During downtrends, seasonal goods have largely run out, or are greatly marked down before the end of the season, resulting in spectacular mid-season bargains.

As inflation deflates our buying-power, it is clear our economy isn’t at it’s best.  Which means that once again the women’s magazines will be telling us how to stretch our grocery dollars, but there’s more to life than just food, and Nordstrom’s doesn’t have a double-coupon day.  So, as we tighten our very fashionable belts and cross manicured fingers waiting for an upturn, I’ve come up with new ways to save.

We could all save more if we’d just stop spending on unnecessary things–like those which are wasted on men.  For instance, think of what you could save on haircare costs, like color, cuts or styles.  Whether you get your hair cut for $120. at a posh salon, or for $12. at Supercuts, it is probable the man in your life won’t notice it’s different.

Think of how much money we’d have, if we stopped buying expensive, but-oh-so-worth-it shoes, in favor of lesser-priced shoes from PayLess or WalMart. After all, when was the last time a heterosexual male, who didn’t have a foot-fetish, went ga-ga or even noticed the pair that cost you a significant pay-chunk?

Cosmetics and perfumes cost a fortune.  Women would do well by foregoing the price of designer fragrances.  You will never miss them, once you realize the smells of pizza and beer are just effective, for attracting men.

There is also the matter of underwear & lingerie.  I’m not advocating for going without feel good/look good bras or  panties,  but the rest of the money spent on skimpy things is largely wasted.  When it comes to lingerie, men are like dogs–mostly colorblind.  They primarily see only red and black, though some may also respond to white.  Any color they can’t readily name, is apt to confuse them.  Details like real silk or French lace are also superfluous, as the only detail men appreciate in lingerie, is skin.  Everything else is superfluous.   The primary purpose of lingerie is to let him know we aren’t going to make him beg–unless, of course, he’s into that kind of thing.

Clearly we’d have more money in our designer handbags, if we’d stop spending money to make ourselves, yet more irresistible, but there’s a hitch.  While we may groom & dress with our man in mind, the truth is we dress for ourselves.  We spend money on all kinds of beautiful & spendy things, because they make us feel more desirable.  It isn’t money wasted.  When are more attractive, when we feel beautiful.

Loafers, mules, pumps, clogs, boots, sandals, oxfords–I’ve worn them all.  From plastic to exotic leathers, from discount to designer–I’ve stepped out in just about everything–sweet abundance of shoes.

The things one could write about women & their shoes are endless, and why not?  Each and every day, they are the vehicle which carries us to meet whatever challenges the day brings.

At the most basic level they are essential.  On a more esoteric level, they are an extension  of ourselves.   They are what we stand on.  They can make us feel graceful, or make us feel inept at walking.  Some empower, some embarrass.

When I was a girl, there was a common belief a person’s shoes could tell you about them–the implication being shoes would expose a person’s upbringing.  This was probably more true then, when most people didn’t have a closet full of shoes.  I don’t know if the same could be said today, but shoes still convey information.  They tell the world who we think we are, and sometimes they tell us who we are.

Some time ago, I was in negotiations with my teen son, regarding shoes he wanted.  The shoes he wanted cost four times what a comparable pair from another store would; the only difference was the way they would make him feel.

I understand.  I remember how shoes can transform us.  I remember when a new pair of shoes, was enough to convince me that I could run faster or jump higher.  I remember the magic of shoes.

Once upon a time, I had a pair or red leather Mary Janes.   They made me feel special.  On linoleum, they had a little squeak.  Maybe that little squeal was trying to tell me life would never again be as carefree.  I only know, they made me love being a girl.

In high school, almost everyone wore a particular brand of athletic shoe–everyone but me.  I wore look-alikes my mother purchased from the discount store.  I don’t think they fooled anyone, but for a time, they fooled me into believing I fit-in.

I didn’t have them long, before they were stolen.  I might have been angry, if I hadn’t felt so bad for the girl desperate enough to steal such pathetic shoes.  It’s been years, but I still remember the lesson those shoes taught me.

I’ll never forget the lovely silk shoes I wore the day I wed.  As an excited bride, those shoes filled me with romantic idealism and made me feel like a princess.  They made me feel lucky.  Exquisite they were, a short walk in those shoes and my life was forever transformed–for better or worse–mostly better.

I wish I’d been wearing those shoes when I went to visit my new husband’s family.  Instead, I wore a favorite pair of boots.  They were good boots, built to last, but their leather had become creased and worn.  I remember feeling,  that I was sized up, as being no better than those worn boots.  If only those boots, could have spoken for both of us, they probably would have said, “Ignore them, they can’t tell by looking, what we’re made of.“

As I write this, I am wearing a pair of very over-priced “flip-flops”.  Third pair of them I’ve owned.  I bought the first pair, because they were a brand that appeals to me.  After I bought them, I later discovered they were uncommonly comfortable.  They were a little splurge, but worth every penny.  It’s has nothing to do with the status logo, which tells people I spent too much on them;  it is simply they way they feel on my feet.  When I put them on I know I am part of a privileged class.  Not because of that brand, but because my feet don’t hurt the way they did when I waitressed my way through college.    Without saying a word, they remind me that I’ve been very blessed in this  life.

There’s more . . having once been embarrassed, by not having  the same shoes as my peers, these shoes remind me how hypocritical it seems not to buy my son the expensive shoes he desires.  Unlike my mother, I can afford to buy name-brand shoes for my son.  What I can’t afford,  is to allow him to believe, he is more acceptable  because of what he wears.   I want him to understand it’s the person in the shoes that matters.

I’ve learned a few things from my own shoes.  I’d like my son to wear shoes that will help him know what my shoes have taught me—even in the most fabulous pair, I am so much more than my shoes.