Posts Tagged ‘security’

The Clinton-era policy known as “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”  seemed to make sense–don’t ask if you don’t want to know the answer; don’t tell if you don’t want to live with the consequences.  Unfortunately, Mr. Clinton didn’t always get things right in all his affairs.

Bill’s policy is probably more helpful to straight civilians, than it was to the men & women of our armed forces, because no matter how enlightened and empowered women become, they are still inclined to ask dangerous questions–landmine questions.
I’m not like everyone else, but there are a whole bunch of questions I’m not interested in asking or having answered.  Below are a list of ten such questions.

1.  Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Men like pretty women.  Get over it.  There will always be someone prettier.  Get over it.  I’ve long outgrown the “who’s the fairest of them all” game.  Most women can identify pretty women as well as a man can.  If there is a woman prettier than you, your life will not be enhanced by hearing it from the object of your desire.

2.  Do I look fat?
If you look fat, knowing won’t help you face the world.  Asking is dumb.  You‘ll either get an answer you don’t like, or an answer you can’t trust.  A smart man won’t tell you the truth, a dumb man won’t think fast enough to lie.  Additionally, hearing the answer may cause you to console yourself with a quart of Haagen Daz.  The following day, you will look fatter.

3.  Do you like this dress?
With a few exceptions–most of whom are gay, men aren’t dress experts.  If it shows enough skin, he’ll probably think it’s fabulous.  He won’t be able to tell you what color it is, but he’ll convince you it’s stunning.  If you really want to know if the dress is as cute as you thought, wear it somewhere there are cameras.  Cameras offer unyielding and unbiased objectivity.

4.  Did you love her?
Without knowing her, you can answer that for yourself.  At some point he “loved” her enough to be involved with her.  If she‘s history and you‘re current events, don’t cancel the future by dwelling on the past.

5.  Did you sleep with her?
If you want to be riddled with doubt or insecurity, ask this question and press for details.  That’s  so yesterday.  He’s with you now–it’s game on.   Stop thinking about it, you need your head in the game.

6.  Where do you see this going?
Initially, most men haven’t thought past the backseat or the bedroom.  If you want to know where it’s going, wait & see.

7.  Do you want to make love to me?
Puhleeeeez . . .is he gay?  Is he celibate?  If he’s not, this is a question you probably don’t need to ask.

8.  Was it good for you?
97% of the time, the answer will be an unequivocal “yes“.  If it’s not, there are other questions you need to be asking.

9.  Do you love me?
If he knows he does, he’ll probably tell you.  If he hasn’t told you, he may not be the guy for you.

10.  Why do you want to hang out with the guys, instead of me?
Men like and need to hang out with their boys.  One of many reasons?  Guys don’t ask questions like those above.

Any questions????

Deb’s Note: Obviously, I’ve only addressed my short list of  the “Don’t Ask” aspect.  The “Don’t tell” part is up to the men.  Smart men usually figure it out quickly.