Posts Tagged ‘long dresses’

Earthquakes, nuclear disasters, wars, rising inflation, economic uncertainty AND just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse–they’re baa-a-a-a-ck.

Last weekend, as I was out & about, I was surprised to see them everywhere.  Dropping out of nowhere, they were in stores, at restaurants and even sporting events.  Just in time to ruin spring, comes the leg-shrouding long-dress.  In my own locale, winter has been too wet and too long to suit me.  Like most of the men I know, I have been anxiously waiting for shorts-weather.  The wonderful season of close shaves and suntan oil, but alas, it would seem legs are going back into hiding.

You may or may not be aware of  “The Skirt Length Theory”, in which there is a supposed correlation between hem lengths and economic trends. Recalling its premise, I’m trying to remember the economic conditions during the period in which I last wore a long dress to something other than a wedding. According to the theory, when times are good, women get into supply & demand economics, with an eagerness to show their goods.  Conversely, when the economy is shaky, apparently women hoard cloth by wearing skirts long enough to provide a make-shift shelter in the event of a worst-case scenario.  (A Yurt Skirt?)

Utilizing my understanding of economics and my observations of male/female relationships, I have extrapolated my own conclusion on “skirt theory”.  Keynes, Bernanke, Buffett and Friedman would certainly agree with me on this.  The more economic security a man presents, the more likely it is he will get more than a glimpse of ankle.

“The Skirt Length Theory” has mostly been debunked, probably because the affluence of the developed world has provided women more options for wearing whatever skirt length they preferred, but I suspect as the dreadful maxi-length dresses return, this theory will be given another 15 minutes of fame for re-examination.

The very bad news for those who have been watching  IRA’s & stock portfolios shrink, is the much-needed distraction of summer gam-glam will be in decline too.  As the graph lines on the Dow, The GNP and the probability of Congress solving our deficit woes go plummeting toward the earth, get your last glimpse of calf curves.

Hold on, it’s going to be a long summer.