Underwear We’d Rather Not See

My last post discussed the French study which suggested bras are an “unnecessary necessity“.  It would be too easy to poke fun at the segment of  Europeans who have also deemed razors and deodorant unnecessary, but I am resisting that temptation. I don’t know if bras are necessary, but I am convinced there are many things in the “under”  world that are completely unnecessary.

Recently, I learned of a company out of Australia marketing lingerie for men.  This isn’t anything new.  For more than 50 years there have been companies specializing in large size lingerie. What is different is while those companies were marketing to men who’d already expressed a preference for frilly wear, this company is hoping to popularize bras and panties for “everyman”.

I am confident, I have no latent lesbian fantasies buried in my psyche, but should I ever begin picturing myself pillow fighting somebody wearing a pink polka dot ensemble, I am positive that person wouldn’t have a five o’clock shadow.

According to their press releases, this company offers men quality lines that are comfortable.    Comfortable?  Was there a market for this?  Michael Jordan looked pretty comfortable all these years he’s been schilling for Hanes, and David Beckham looks comfortable in his new commercial for H&M.  Hard to imagine either of them being more comfortable wearing a “Rose Camisole” from HommeMystere.

Granted men’s choices are more limited than women‘s, but one  needn’t be Heidi Fleiss to know, they’ve figured out what’s comfortable. I’ll be the first to admit, men wear some sorry-looking underwear, and for once I am glad.  I am unable to picture The Beloved Soul Mate frolicking about in a camisole and matching hipsters. Again, I am glad.  It’s possible he’s more the negligee type, but even with the part of my imagination that still believes Santa will  bring me a pony, I can‘t see it.  Near as I can tell, I‘ll never have to.

Like most men, he prefers his old favorites over anything else.  Should The Beloved Soul Mate one day decide his life would be better if only he wore a bra or bikini panties with lace, we are definitely going to be renegotiating the terms of our relationship–which is a very polite way to say, I‘m calling my lawyer.

If there is a niche needing filled in world of men’s underwear, it is for underwear which  come out of the package feeling like they’ve already been worn and washed a couple years.  This is something I can picture.…brand names like Thread Bare, colors like Tell Tales Grey.

If I’ve got this right, trend following gals could be throwing out bras, at the very same time some dock-worker becomes convinced he needs some.  Long live the hipster– not the group of followers who are supposedly emblematic of hipness at it’s uncool best, but that style of panties which has endured long enough to be called “hipsters”, then “boy shorts”, and now “girl shorts”.   If boy shorts-made-girlie, become popular with men, what shall we call them then?  Staying trendy is confusing, and could be more so come laundry day.  His?  Hers?  Or Whose?

I doubt I’m alone in thinking teddies (not to mention bras) for men are unnecessary. Then again most lingerie is. It is absurd how much  money is spent to make men do what they would do anyway–think about seeing us not wearing any.   Skin always wins, but one company believes there are times when nude is not enough.

Moving from the ridiculous to the sublime…The season better suited to white pants than white panties is almost here.  Every savvy girl knows that white bras and panties, don’t work under whites or sheer clothing,  which is why we buy underthings in nude.  Bras in “nude” are like office furniture in “putty”, utilitarian and unattractive.  The shade is neither beige, nor peach, nor tan, nor taupe.  It is a color so ubiquitous as to barely be nameable.  This one-shade fits all color ignores the fact that we aren’t all the same color.

An Arizona-based company, My Skins, looked at the skin colors of women across the nation, before developing bras and panties for women of every color. My Skins offers lingerie in 20 mouth-watering shades like Peaches, Butterscotch, Caramel, and Espresso. Smooth and seamless, with My Skins, there is no reason to be showing panty lines, awkward edges on strapless bras, back bulges, or anything but smooth under t-shirts.

A quick visit to My Skins, and they’ll promptly send you a fool-proof skin-matching card.  This peek-a-boo color card guarantees a better match, than one could expect matching  hands or face.  Now, whatever you’re wearing under your clothes will virtually disappear against your skin.

No matter what you’ll be wearing this summer, take time to find the right size, don’t forget to wear sunscreen to keep your skin at its healthy best, and if you have bras you’re not wearing, consider sending them to Free the Girls. You can read about them here or at the Free The Girls website.

Deb’s note:  My Skins claims to be able to match the skin color of 95% of the population.  Even if you happen to be in that other 5%, they offer many better options than “nude”.  The illustration of My Skins colors above should not be considered accurate, to view colors visit  www.myskins.com

America  has long enjoyed a love ‘em or hate ‘em relationship with the French.  One would think the French and Americans would be the best of friends–after all, they gave us champagne, the beret and that awfully nice statue in the New York Harbor.  However, for every American who loves the French, there is another who dislikes them.  Having yet to visit the croissant capital of the world, I have no opinion, but I am a little distrustful of the  latest thing out of France.

From the same country, that once tried to convince Americans we’d love the metric system, comes the work of another academic. This researcher’s findings aren’t on par with the system of measurement hailed as “a system for all people, for all times“ but like the true American I am, I am ready to reject it.
Professor and French researcher Jean-Denis Rouillon, from the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Besancon, has spent the last 15 years trying to determine whether or not bras are necessary, and has concluded they are not.  He believes they may be detrimental not only to a women‘s appearance, but also her health. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard to know all the specifics of child sacrifice in Pre-Columbian America. Why were they killed?  How many were there?  By whom and to whom were they sacrificed?  Anthropologists have found the remains of 42 children near the Great Pyramid at Tenotchitlan.  National Geographic counts another 17 found near Mexico City, but the mysteries of this barbaric practice, pale in comparison to the grisly discovery of the remains of more than 45 children Philadelphia.

The stories from ancient ruins are unearthed and pieced together with educated guesses, but the evidence in this latest discovery of infanticide and child sacrifice, leaves little to the imagination.  Not since the trial  of Jeffrey Dahmer, has there been a case any more disturbing, than that of Philadelphia abortionist, Dr. Kermit Gosnell.  It is a story of with every kind of evil…murder, greed, drugs, racism, vice, politics, sexual deviancy, and horrendous medical malpractice. Read the rest of this entry »

Parenting is challenging from the onset, but spurred by the awe-inspiring perfection of a new baby, most new parents embrace that challenge with excitement.  From the very first moments, we want to give the best of everything. We want to protect them from harm. We want them to have a good life.

If there is an exemplary illustration of ignorance as bliss, it is our first day of parenting. Except in cases of births marked by complications, most new parents are filled with unprecedented optimism.  Full of high hopes, but knowing little of the realities of parenting, new parents imagine their child’s bright future, but there is always a chance the future won’t turn out as hoped.

There is the chance  of realizing the child has challenges are too big to be conquered by good intentions, or the possibility parenting will make us more vulnerable, than the child we’d vowed to protect.  We can no more guarantee the future of our children, than determine our own.

Recently, in my community, two tragic and unexpected, deaths reminded parents of our that vulnerability.  The deaths of these two young men, forced every mother and father to think about things they’d rather not.  For the parents of Tommy, a promising high school senior who died unexpectedly after an afternoon at the pool, or the parents of  Taylor, the 16-year old who collapsed and died at school on his birthday, there was a grim realization, that as parents, we are sometimes powerless. Read the rest of this entry »

We know the fields of electrical charges able to push and pull similar materials, as magnetism.  There are many kinds of magnetism, but the most familiar is the kind seen in common household magnets.    Household magnets use ferro-magnetism, but another common type is feral (or animal) magnetism.  Whether it be animal magnetism or some other force, some people seem to have a mysterious power to  draw others to them.

A friend, who is a couples’ counselor, says no matter how dark or crowded a room, some people will attract each other.  It sounds so romantic–the thought of two people being pulled together by some unseen force, but according to this expert on dysfunctional matches, this “pull” is more like the way magnets attract similar metals…as people seeking validation or excitement are drawn to each other.   According to him, this is particularly true of certain personality types.  They are the “players”, excitement seekers, love chasers, and narcissists. Read the rest of this entry »

About ten years ago, The California Prune Board spent $10 million on a make-over for their product.  In an attempt to make prunes more attractive to consumers, they not only renamed their product, but also redesigned their packaging to show fresh plums, instead of the dried up fruit inside.

Call them “Sun-Dried Plums”, call them “prunes” or call them “pipe cleaners”. They’re still a food most folks associate with constipation.

It’s just semantics–the way we use language.  Though there is an overabundance of words to accurately describe everything around us, our culture often resorts to using euphemisms, or deliberately misleading language.  Like intellectual battering rams, code words and catch phrases are often intended to manipulate public opinion.

Just as magicians use tactics to redirect our attention, this kind of linguistic legerdemain, is often nothing more than a trick to make us change our perceptions.  As our attention is diverted, we lose sight of what’s important, because we are focused on what isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

Though thousands of words are written, about how to be happy in a relationship, too few are written on   how to be less-miserable.  No matter how many columns are devoted to telling couples how to get along better, there aren’t nearly enough devoted to the art of not getting along.

Among couples, there are outliers who insist they never fight, but I’ve yet to meet any who exist in perfect harmony. Popular culture would have us believe relationships are mostly tranquil, full of love, sex and romance, with only occasional disruptions.

Hello?  Anybody seen the magazines on the checkstand lately?

Even Hollywood’s fairytale romances often fall apart in startling displays of pettiness, scandal and heartbreak. On those rare occasions,when television and movies show relationships breaking apart, it is usually because of some big issue, yet, it is often little things which cause the most problems. Read the rest of this entry »

Thoughtful disagreement

Every morning, I grab some coffee and join a think tank.  Okay, that’s not really true, but my early morning check of Facebook is a foray into a world of ideas, discussions and debate. The participants in this collective of ideas, eagerly share their findings, then the floor is open for discussion.

Love it or hate it, social media is an effortless exposé and thorough documentary of our cultural values. Fun, folly, politics, religion or causes–from the annoying and banal to the inspiring and profound, on Twitter and Facebook, people share what is in their hearts and heads.

If one is willing to wade through memes, photos, nobody-cares status updates and read annoying tweets, they are privy to a never-ending supply of ideas. It’s a remarkable thing, yet many are frustrated at having to suffer the opinions of those with whom they disagree.

Increasingly, our society is unwilling to indulge disagreement or engage in debate, but good ideas are not born in a vacuum–if they were, education would be unnecessary. Education is learning the ideas of others and testing our own.  It is asking and answering questions, in the hope of learning what is true.  Those who believe they are right, don’t wish to be bothered with questions, and those with whom they disagree, find it fruitless to question them. Read the rest of this entry »

A friend is one of the nicest things to have, and one of the best things to be.  ~ Douglas Pagels

Valentine’s Day has come and gone again.  Upon learning Valentine’s Day was being replaced in some school districts by “Friendship Day” and by adults with the alternative Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) I was wondering if romance had finally become politically incorrect. Both sounded as desperately over-reaching as comforting a childless teacher by telling her she’s lucky to have lots of children, or  complimenting a fat girl on her pretty face.

Out of context, these new traditions sounded like affirmative action for the forlorn.  Lord knows, romance is often  over-rated and under-practiced, but the doom of humanity seemed inevitable, if society was ready to raise frowning-eyebrows on this most basic life pursuit. As it turns out, instead of being antithetical to romantic relationships, these celebrations that might actually serve to promote them.

Most of us don’t need a therapist, as much as a friend to be silly with.  ~Robert Brault

Friendship Day?  I’m all for it. The ability to make and sustain friendships is integral to enjoying others. Without friendship, even the most exciting relationships often fail.  Though most of us realize the importance of friendships, we don’t always take the time to develop them.  Even though we want our significant other to be our best friend, we act as if friendships are spontaneous occurrences, which develop without being cultivated, but more romances are born out of friendships, than vice verse.  If friendships seem easier than romantic relationships, perhaps it is because we approach them differently.

Friendships provide us a context for being comfortable with ourselves. Unlike dating, they are low-pressure. Our earliest playground bonds are built on commonalities, confidences, comaraderie, and companionship–the same things that make for satisfying adult relationships. The tendency to be lured by the external attractions of a potential romantic partner, make all too easy for one to romanticize someone they hardly know, or with whom they have little in common.  Sadly, relationships based only on sizzle, usually fizzle. Read the rest of this entry »

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Over the last few weeks, their has been a lot of talk about rights.  Women were granted the “right” to serve in combat, gays want the right to marry, disabled children are now to be given the right to compete in school sports, gun-owners are fighting to preserve their 2nd amendment rights, and across the nation, the 40-year old fight over abortion is divided between The Right to Life OR The Right to Choose.  Everybody has a viewpoint.  Everyone wants what is rightfully theirs.

According to our founders, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are our birthright.   Even those who snoozed through high school civics, know the quote above, but the line above isn’t part of our Constitution, it is merely the foundation on which the constitution a foundational principle, on which the Constitution was built.  It seems simple enough, but it is a source of great confusion to many.

We all have firsthand experience with life, so one would think we could agree on that. If our very existence guarantees our right to life, does our liberty give us the option of not exercising that right?  Is the right to life an obligation, or can we opt out? Do liberty and the pursuit of happiness mean we have the right to kill ourselves by suicide or assisted suicide?  If so, wouldn’t it follow that we also have the right to kill ourselves with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or Big Gulps and fast food?  Does the right to life extend to those in the womb, or is that up to the discretion of their creator–in this case the mother? What about the father?  Wasn’t his participation integral to the creation?

The right to life also implies a sovereignty over our own bodies.  Women say we have the right to control our own bodies. If so, does that liberty apply to being allowed to choose our own healthcare, or making our own decisions about our health?  Is the right to control one’s body, exclusive to women, or does it extend to men?  If so, why isn’t it appropriate for rapists and pedophiles to march on Washington, with angry demands for the government to get out of their private lives? Read the rest of this entry »